‘Omg someone’s lost some weight what’s your secret?!’
…. Uhm hahaha… I stopped eating.
I guess I can’t forget about it. Like it rings in my head. The words hang on your face. Your innocent cells clinging to the teeth as you stress ‘eeaann’ your cleanly pressed suit. A grey thread woven like an old couch I had. You had to be close enough to see it, but that would also mean being close enough to possibly taint your childlike purity in any way and as a normal human you just cringe to do so. Your shoes a credible glassy brown. Your whitely pressed shirt clean as fresh snow much like your soul. The cuff links of reliable brass and burgundy stone that makes me think of Jesus. Your wife gave them to you the Christmas after your wedding. The wedding I was invited to on the drive back to the cumbee center after blowing you the summer before. Your childlike turfs of hair. Cute and guiltless. Waving in the air as you turn your head quickly to the judge and confess I’m clean, I’m clean. Those blue eyes as worry free as a simple puddle. You couldn’t possibly have done those horrible things. That girl is lying. She in those cheap black slacks. The missing button on the back pocket. The uneven hemlines at the feet. The faded and wrinkled fabric in the back from wearing the back out of them. The rebellious black floral socks. The tinge of slutty green hair sticking out of split ended brown. The lack of life in her eyes. Because of course she’s done this before she has already been jaded by the world. She is just a girl who gets around. The baby face that is just begging to be child porn. She has probably got some man in trouble before. That purple shirt that should be in a night club. She put a black long sleeves shirt under it? Does she think we are naive she’s just doing this to try and look innocent. She is just a ‘our records show that she has been pursuing older men before and we have a witness to prove her conviction’.
She’s done this before.
I need someone.
Everything is soo fucked up right now.
I guess I should have seen this long ago. what you did in that courtroom sitting there saying your clean did not compare to what you used to do to me.
You brought my past and displayed it neatly around a courtroom. Well that’s ok fucker. I told you that in desperate attempt to get you connect to me. You were drowning. And I was was soo fucking stupid that I wanted to help you. I pulled you out of that hole when you’re wife cheated in you. Haha yea how about that I just spilled your secret? Feel vulnerable yet motherfucker? It sucks. And it’s probably a lot more painful than the knee to the groin you experienced. You are constantly thinking of yourself. I was trying put you back together while you were trying to put your hand up my dress.
"I was a slut. There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?"
This all night long.
L: I ate a small portion of snow peas and 4 sweet potatoe fries. I pocketed some to make it look like I ate more.
D: diet coke and concerta
I’m still outrunning it but I can see how data it’s caught up with me since yesterday .
To everyone that I hate.
Back the fuck off.